I've always dreamed of turning 40. Despite society's insistence that we all aspire to obtain a 20 year old's body and a pre-teen's youthful glow, I love getting older. Love the confidence and wisdom that comes with aging. Love the fact that I can FINALLY tell the difference between what's truly important and the bullshit that only disguises itself as such. (Experience really is the world's best teacher.)
But at 40 years old...
I haven't even come close to reaching my full potential.
I haven't made a dent in my bucket list; hell, it's been so long since I've even looked at that list that I don't even remember what's on it anymore.
But all that is about to change.
For my 40th birthday, I'm giving myself the gift of selfishness. No more putting others first and resenting them for it afterwards. No more being afraid to ask (or even demand) exactly what it is that I want. No more treating myself to only second best (if I'm lucky). And no more resting on my laurels and expecting the world to hand me anything. Whatever I want out of life, I'm gonna have to work my ass off to obtain.
Wow, thank God it only took me 40 years to figure all of this out!
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Rest In Peace
I love the holidays, especially now that I have a child. This Thanksgiving found me volunteering in my daughter's classroom, teaching the children to make dreamcatchers in honor of Native American Day. For the holiday itself we spent the day at grandma's house, enjoying good food, good wine and good conversations with friends and family. Who could ask for more?
Christmas was even better. After watching A Christmas Story with Amira, I put her to bed then stayed up til 1:30 a.m. wrapping presents, making rice krispy treats and carting everything upstairs to grandma's house where we always open our presents the minute the sun comes up. That afternoon, the entire family drove out to Uncle Dwight's house where we enjoyed good food, good wine and good conversations with friends and family. Who could ask for more?
But New Year's day has long been my favorite holiday. Every year since childhood I've regaled my friends with long lists of resolutions we all know I'm never going to keep. I was getting ready to text Chele with this year's list when she called me.
"Dij, do you want to chit-chat first or do you want the bad news?" Thinking it would be no big deal I chose the bad news.
It's been three days since that phone call and...
I've yet to give her my resolutions.
Michele was calling to tell me that our good friend Keith Goodrich had passed away.
I'd known Keith since high school but we didn't get close til after graduation. That's when he became one of my closest friends.
We spent years partying together, Keith and I. It was Keithy who snuck me into Hong Kong for the first time, Keithy who gave me my first shot of jaeger, and Keithy who took me to my first female strip club. But...he was so much more than just a constant good time. Keith was there for me when I was diagnosed with MS. When my sister moved out of our mother's house and into her own apartment, it was Keith who helped her move, then pulled out his wallet, refusing to accept my cash when I took he and two other friends out for drinks afterwards to thank them. I have SO many memories of my good friend and big brother Keith Goodrich but the one I treasure the most is from when I was 24 years old, and living in Los Angeles, away from our gang. Keith called me every, single Wednesday to check up on me. To make sure I wasn't too lonely, to see that I was okay. And while I was only there for 6 months, he came out to visit anyway.
None of us are perfect and Keith had his flaws. But he was one of the most loyal friends I've ever had. And I'll love and miss him til the day I die.
Christmas was even better. After watching A Christmas Story with Amira, I put her to bed then stayed up til 1:30 a.m. wrapping presents, making rice krispy treats and carting everything upstairs to grandma's house where we always open our presents the minute the sun comes up. That afternoon, the entire family drove out to Uncle Dwight's house where we enjoyed good food, good wine and good conversations with friends and family. Who could ask for more?
But New Year's day has long been my favorite holiday. Every year since childhood I've regaled my friends with long lists of resolutions we all know I'm never going to keep. I was getting ready to text Chele with this year's list when she called me.
"Dij, do you want to chit-chat first or do you want the bad news?" Thinking it would be no big deal I chose the bad news.
It's been three days since that phone call and...
I've yet to give her my resolutions.
Michele was calling to tell me that our good friend Keith Goodrich had passed away.
I'd known Keith since high school but we didn't get close til after graduation. That's when he became one of my closest friends.
We spent years partying together, Keith and I. It was Keithy who snuck me into Hong Kong for the first time, Keithy who gave me my first shot of jaeger, and Keithy who took me to my first female strip club. But...he was so much more than just a constant good time. Keith was there for me when I was diagnosed with MS. When my sister moved out of our mother's house and into her own apartment, it was Keith who helped her move, then pulled out his wallet, refusing to accept my cash when I took he and two other friends out for drinks afterwards to thank them. I have SO many memories of my good friend and big brother Keith Goodrich but the one I treasure the most is from when I was 24 years old, and living in Los Angeles, away from our gang. Keith called me every, single Wednesday to check up on me. To make sure I wasn't too lonely, to see that I was okay. And while I was only there for 6 months, he came out to visit anyway.
None of us are perfect and Keith had his flaws. But he was one of the most loyal friends I've ever had. And I'll love and miss him til the day I die.
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