Since moving in together there's not been a day that's gone by in which Lorenzo and I haven't wanted to kill each other.
Okay, maybe I'm not being fair.
There's not been a day that's gone by in which I haven't wanted to kill him.
I love Lorenzo of course, but good God he can work a nerve.
The constant nagging is the worst but there's so much more to hate:
The hours he wastes on football.
The micro managing.
The know it all attitude.
The need to voice his unasked for opinion on every single detail of my life.
Being with him is both exhausting and infuriating and I fantasize about leaving his black ass every single day of my life.
I never wanted a husband or a child.
Nor do I understand those who do.
Who in their right mind would actually choose to trade in their freedom for a lifetime of compromise and caretaking? Not me.
So this begs the question, why in hell do I stay?
Contrary to popular belief, love is not the answer, at least it damn sure isn't for me.
And as harsh as this may sound Amira isn't even a good enough reason for me to stay with a man who drives me as crazy as Lorenzo does.
When I sit down and think about it, the reason I stay is actually a fairly easy one.
Lorenzo makes me want to be a better person. Plain and simple.
I've never had a man who pushed me harder than he does, who challenges me to be the best goddamn Khadija I can be every single day. Who lets me know that my good enough isn't good enough for him because I can be so much more. Lorenzo really believes that I'm unstoppable. That when I set my mind to something, nothing on this earth can prevent me from achieving it. He admires the courage I don't show nearly enough. He loves that when backed into a corner, I will always come out swinging. He sees me for the strong, confident woman I didn't even know I was until he came along.
He believes in me.
Aside from my parents, no one's ever believed in me quite the way he does.
And I love him for that.
And that's why I stay.
Fuck a new year's resolution, TODAY'S the day I have.
Just wait till you see what I do with it.
