Sometimes I hate my boyfriend.
And being a stay at home mom.
And...oh yeah, my life.
I know I'm not supposed to complain.
From an outsider's perspective things probably don't look so bad.
But sometimes I feel like a prisoner in my own home.
My boyfriend's a good guy, he really is.
He works at a job he's grown to hate just so that I can stay home and take care of our daughter and for that, I truly appreciate him but what he doesn't understand is that
I WORK TOO!
Much, much harder than he does.
Because when you're a stay at home mom, hell, ANY kind of mom
YOUR JOB NEVER ENDS.
I don't get sick time, vacation time, lunch breaks or weekends off.
Hell, I don't get to shit, shower or even shave my legs without my daughter barging her way into the bathroom with me.
Once upon a time I had a life.
I lived in Boston and took the Red line to work everyday.
I exercised at Healthworks five mornings a week, took classes at Umass part-time, and on weekends I went to the Kendall Square theater to see all of the movies Ebert had raved about the week before.
I did all of these things blissfully alone.
Now, my alone time consists of the hour or so I get before the baby wakes up each morning and the few minutes I can keep my eyes open after she goes to bed at night.
I know that this will all be worth it one day.
But today...I just needed to bitch.
That's okay, we all need to vent sometimes. Your daughter will grow up to appreciate what you have done for her, and she will treasure the time she got to spend with you (instead of daycare strangers). My mum was a stay at home, also. We're super close!
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I know what you are saying. I hate it when guys don't appreciate the amount of work women do.
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ReplyDeleteLet it out girl, we all have to Bitch in order to stay sane. Before you know it your daughter will be staying over playmates houses for sleepovers and playing in her room without needing any attention from you. You will get breaks soon enough but the first 3 years are tough because they're attached to the hip. This too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteI'm right with Seasoned Sally. Let it out. It's therapy. I always stop mothers and ask them how they do it. I keep my niece for a few hours and I'm like how in the world is someone able to do this 24/7. You have the toughest job but the most respectable occupation anyone could have.
ReplyDeleteI can't say I know exactly what you mean, but I can relate to a certain extent. I'm a nanny, and oftentimes I feel like I'm raising kids that parents felt obligated to have. We all need a chance to vent every now and then! Let it out.
ReplyDeleteWe all have one of these days I hope you feel better!
ReplyDeleteI could not even begin to understand how stressful and exhausting everything must be. But at least your daughter will know that her parents busted their ass for her and sacrificed for her.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, everyone! So sorry for the late reply, didn't even know anyone was reading my blog (probably because I haven't logged in for so long). I'll be doing a lot more writing so I hope you'll continue to read my work here. :-)
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